I Like To Play Guitar, Jam Out,

I Had One Job That Was Kind Of Cop-like. One Summer I Did Security At A Miniature Golf Course. Just Standing Out In The Sun All Day, Hey, Hey, Excuse Me Sir. Get Your Putter Out Of The Whale's Ass. Come On, This Is A Place Of Miniature Business. This Is Not A Playground Even Though It Looks Like A Playground.

Vince Vaughn Is A Genuine Person, Awesome Guy. He'll Come To A Lot Of My Shows. It's Not That Often That You Can Meet Someone As Cool As Vince.

If You Have To Be At Work At 8, It's Always Like, 7:54. Just Enough Time To Do Nothing. To Just Lay There And Go, "i Can't Do Anything! I Can't Even Have An English Muffin!

I've Been Ignoring My Feelings Lately. That Works Pretty Well. Might Also Settle For Less This Week, Just To Try It Out.

Nothing Is A Better Icebreaker Than A Great Joke.