Anyone Who's Onstage Is Going To Attract

I'm Kinda Like Herpes, I Just Keep Coming Back.

Heart Disease Has Changed My Eating Habits, But I Still Cook Bacon For The Smell.

I Think It's The Duty Of The Comedian To Find Out Where The Line Is Drawn And Cross It Deliberately.

Here's A Bumper Sticker I'd Like To See... 'we Are The Proud Parents Of A Child Who Has Resisted His Teacher's Attempts To Bend Him To The Will Of His Corporate Masters'.

If No One Knows When A Person Is Going To Die, How Can We Say He Died Prematurely?