Humor Is Based On Surprise, And Surprise

I've Set My Own Rules To Live By. The First One Is: 'never Believe Anything The Government Says.'

Do You Know The Nicest Thing About Looking At Pictures Of A 1950's Baseball Park? The Only People Wearing Baseball Caps Are The Players.

Religion - Religion, At Best - At Best - Is Like A Lift In Your Shoe. If You Need It For A While, And It Makes You Walk Straight And Feel Better - Fine. But You Don't Need It Forever, Or You Can Become Permanently Disabled. Religion Is Like A Lift In The Shoe, And I Say Just Don't Ask Me To Wear Your Shoes. And Let's Not Go Down And Nail Lifts Onto The Natives' Feet.

Everything Beeps Now.

Tell The People You Love That You Love Them, At Every Opportunity.