Anyone Who Bombs Is My Friend.

I Am The The Type To Have A Personal Experience With A Celebrity, But I'm Too Classy To Bring That Up.

If You See Me At A Restaurant, Blow Me A Kiss, Wave, Blow Me Another Kiss, Then Walk Five Steps Backward.

I Don't Really Know Much About Pirates, Or Pirate Culture. I'd Be A Contrarian Pirate.

The Problem With A Lot Of Comedy Clubs Is Not That They Are A Comedy Club; It's Just The Cheesy Way They're Presenting Themselves. That's Why A Lot Of People Have A Problem With Them. If You're A Relatively Unknown Comedian, You Can Play At A Comedy Club, You Might Play To Hundreds Of People Every Night. But If You Try To Make A Concert Event Out Of It, And Try To Play A Rock Club Or Something, Where You Might Play To 10 People Or No People. And The Flipside Of That Is, That's Also A Great Thing, To Play To People Who Are Your Fans. Some People Are Too Hard On The Comedy Clubs.

I'd Rather Send Out A Mass Email Then Hang Posters All Over The Place