Anyone Who Bombs Is My Friend.

I've Had Shows Where You Think, "is This Going Well? I Can't Tell," And Then You Say Goodnight And You Get This Ovation. They're Sorta Like A Theater Audience. I've Learned That Much; That They're Not Always Going To Be Doing Backflips - But I'll Never Figure It Out. Because Sometimes You Walk Up There, And They're So Excited, And Then Other Times, It's Just... But Sometimes An Audience Is Bad, And You Can Tell Them They're Bad, And That Sort Of Breaks The Ice A Bit.

I Once Sat Next To Jim From Wild Kingdom On A Flight From Atlanta. I Find Mentioning That Opens A Lot Of Doors.

I Guess There Seems To Be Clubs Opening Up Again, Which Is Strange.

I Think People Have This "it Can't Hurt To Ask" Mentality, Which Is True On Some Level. I Get Comics Like, "hey, Will You Look At These Videos Of Me On Myspace?" I Was Like, "well, Who's Gonna Benefit From That? What If I Don't Like You?" No, I'm Gonna Write To A Stranger And Say, "hi. You Like Me, And I Don't Like You. And Now I Feel Bad When I Didn't Need To Feel Bad, Because You Put Me On The Spot." Or Like, "can I Open For You?" Well, I've Never Seen You Work, So No. I Certainly Made Awkward Mistakes When I Was Starting Out, And They're Just Trying To Have A Career.

I Will Not Be Misquoted!