Any Guy That Refers To Dating Women

Some Girls Look Beautiful With No Makeup On At All. I Call Them Lazy. Now Go Throw Some War Paint On You Bleak Empty Canvas You.

I Don't Write Any Of My Material Down. I Like To Improvise And Be Spontaneous.

I Once Overheard The Sweetest Old Woman Behind Me On A Train Tell Her Adorable Old Husband As He Scoffed Down A Ham Sandwich She Had Brought Along, "if You Ever Yell At Me To "stop Bringing A Ham Sandwich With Me Every Where We Go" Again? Next Time I'm Bringing A Gun. And I'm Blowing Your God Damn Head Off."

Even When I Go To A Salad Bar, I Need To Feel Like I'm One Of The First People There.

Someone Needs To Make A Zombie Movie Where When You Get Bit It Turns You Into A Singing And Dancing Extraordinaire.