When I Get Up In The Morning,

Larry David Finds A Way To Make Jokes About The Holocaust. It Would Never Have Occurred To Me. And It Was Funny.

Marriage Is Nature's Way Of Keeping Us From Fighting With Strangers.

My Mother Kept The House Clean And We Ate Good. I Didn't Know We Were Poor Until I Started Giving Interviews.

We Get The Worrywart, The Hypochondriac, The Money-grubbing Miser, The Intractable Negotiator... Some Would Say Certain Of These Refer To The Stereotypical, Or 'stage' Jew. But Objectively Speaking, The Only Crime In Humor Is An Unfunny Joke.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."