When I Get Up In The Morning,

My Son Says I Never Tell Stories About Anyone Who's Living.

And Humor Has Always Been A Weapon. You Want To Get Even On Somebody? You Want To Attack Somebody? Make Fun Of Them.

My Mother Kept The House Clean And We Ate Good. I Didn't Know We Were Poor Until I Started Giving Interviews.

That's The Great Thing About New Year's, You Get To Be A Year Older. For Me, That Wasn't Such A Joke, Because My Birthday Was Always Around This Time. When I Was A Kid, My Father Used To Tell Me That Everybody Was Celebrating My Birthday. That's What The Trees Are All About.

I Was A High School Throw-out.