And For You Kids Watching At Home,

I Don't Care If My Jokes Are Appropriate For A Kid.

The Only Way I'd Need A Pain Reliever To Enjoy Sex Is If All Of My Fantasies Came True At The Same Time.

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.

The Less [government] The Better.

When I Thought I Was Retired, I Wanted To Travel Around The World And Watch Soccer Games.