An Expert Is Someone Called In At

Nothing Is So Embarrassing As Watching Someone Do Something That You Said Couldn't Be Done.

Highways Are Full Of Careless Drivers Who Are Always Too Close In Front Of You.

When You Feel Neglected, Think Of The Female Salmon, Who Lays 3,000,000 Eggs But No One Remembers Her On Mother's Day.

I Try To Figure My Adjusted Gross Income, But No Matter How I Figure It, It's Still Gross.

As A Child, A Library Card Takes You To Exotic, Faraway Places. When You're Grown Up, A Credit Card Does It.