Ambition Beats Genius 99% Of The Time

The Senate Voted 97-0 For An Anti-spam Bill To Stop Those Annoying Things You Get On Your Computer. The Senators Made It Very Clear That When You Start Misleading The American People And Start Taking Their Money Over False Promises, That's Our Turf, Buddy!

Even Arnold's Adviser Says He Was Shocked By His Decision To Run. I Mean, His People Were Backstage That Night And They Had No Idea. He Totally Fooled Them. Who Knew Arnold Was That Good Of An Actor? If He Had Done That In A Movie, He'd Have An Academy Award By Now.

New Year's Eve, Where Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot. Unless, Of Course, Those Tests Come Back Positive.

Britney Spears Told An Interviewer If She Weren't Famous, She Would Be A Teacher. So Thank God She's Famous.

Today, President Barack Obama Promised To 'detect And Pursue' American Tax Evaders, As Opposed To His First 100 Days, In Which He Detected And Nominated American Tax Evaders.