Am I Not Turtley Enough For The

You Know, Sometimes You Can't Just Take An Armadillo, Put It In The Barn, Light It On Fire And Expect It To Make Licorice.

My Obama Is Getting Pretty Good ... I Think I'll Vote For Whoever Makes My Portrayal Easier. It Takes Time To Put Together A Comic Impression. It Takes Time To Recognize The Tics. Right Now, For Instance, I Could Do A Dead- On Paul Ryan And People Wouldn't Recognize It. Personalities Take A While To Sin.

The Two Things That Can Hurt You Are If You Need Money Or If You Need Fame. Those Are The Things That Can Be Your Achilles' Heel. But If You Don't Need Money And You Don't Need Fame, Then You're Free.

I Got Lucky. I Won The San Francisco Stand-up Comedy Competition In 1977 While I Was Still At San Francisco State.

It's Almost Like He's Started To Sound Even More Exotic The More People Started Doing Him. I Don't Know Why, But There's Just Something About Al Gore That Makes Me Laugh.