All Men Look Nerdy In Black Socks

I Never Know What To Get My Father For His Birthday. I Gave Him A Hundred Dollars And Said, 'buy Yourself Something That Will Make Your Life Easier.' So He Went Out And Bought A Present For My Mother.

When You're A Dancer, You Start With The Basics. You Don't All Of A Sudden Do A Grand Jete And Pirouette. You Start With First Position, Second, Third.

I Work For Myself, Which Is Fun. Except When I Call In Sick, I Know I'm Lying.

My Father Was Never Very Friendly. When I Was Growing Up, I Thought The Doorbell Ringing Was A Signal To Pretend You Weren't Home.

If You're Dating A Man Who You Think Might Be "mr. Right," If He A) Got Older, B) Got A New Job, Or C) Visited A Psychiatrist, You Are In For A Nasty Surprise. The Cocoon-to-butterfly Theory Only Works On Cocoons And Butterflies.