Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I

How Well I Remember My First Encounter With The Devil'ss Brew. I Happened To Stumble Across A Case Of Bourbon - And Went Right On Stumbling For Several Days Thereafter.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

Was I In Here Last Night And Did I Spend A $20 Bill? Oh, Thank Goodness... I Thought I'd Lost It.

Smile First Thing In The Morning. Get It Over With.

Few Things In Life Are More Embarrassing Than The Necessity Of Having To Inform An Old Friend That You Have Just Got Engaged To His Fiancee.