Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes.

Yesterday Was Chinese New Year. It's The Year Of The Rabbit. And Here's How Dumb I Am. I'm Still Writing The Year Of The Pig On My Checks.

Finally We Got Some Good News About The Economy. Barack Obama Got $800 Billion To Rescue The Economy. All I Can Say Is, 'thank You, Oprah.'

Good Luck Finding A Place To Park In New York City. And When You Do, Good Luck Figuring Out The Parking Signs, Restrictions, And Prohibitions. It Is So Complicated. It Has Gotten So Bad, I Never Park My Car Without A Lawyer.

If I Can Be Serious Now, And I Have The Feeling I Can.

There's No Business Like Show Business, But There Are Several Businesses Like Accounting.