The 2016 Presidential Campaign Is Heating Up.

President Obama Is Going To Take Two Weeks To Unwind, As Opposed To President Bush, Who Never Wound.

Osama Bin Laden... Lived In One House For, Like, Six Years With Three Wives. And Earlier Today, They Ruled His Death Was A Suicide.

Holyfield Won The Fight. It's Not The First Time Romney Has Been Knocked Out By A Black Guy.

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

Experts Say This Global Warming Is Serious, And They Are Predicting Now That By The Year 2050, We Will Be Out Of Party Ice.