My Retirement Plan Was In Place But

The Cia Special Unit That Was Searching For Osama Bin Laden Has Been Disbanded. So I Guess, Mission Accomplished.

President Bush Announced He Has A Five-point Strategy For Getting Out Of Iraq. Points Six Through 10 Will Be Handled By The Kerry Administration.

The Academy Awards Are Passed Out On Sunday. It's Voted By Members Of The Academy Of Motion Pictures Arts And Sciences. Or As I Call Them, 50 Shades Of White.

Thanksgiving Is The Day When You Turn To Another Family Member And Say, 'how Long Has Mom Been Drinking Like This?' My Mom, After Six Bloody Marys Looks At The Turkey And Goes, 'here, Kitty, Kitty.'

Due To Budget Crunches, Bush Has Had To Scale Some Of The Programs. He Has A New Program, 'leave A Couple Of Kids Behind.'