There Are Many Ways To Die In

When I Was In Vegas Women Were Throwing Their Hotel Keys At Me. But It Was After They Checked Out.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.

When I Was A Boy The Dead Sea Was Only Sick.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.

Happiness Is Having A Large, Loving, Caring, Close-knit Family In Another City.