A New Biography Of Madonna Came Out

When You Tolerate Intolerance, You're Not Really Being A Liberal.

New Rule: Someone Has To Tell Francesco Schettino That Embracing A Callous Policy Of "every Man For Himself" Doesn't Make You A Sea Captain. It Makes You The Republican Nominee.

Karl Rove Thinks We Shouldn’t Have Hillary Clinton In The White House Because She Fell And Hit Her Head A Couple Years Ago, Spent Three Days In The Hospital, And Maybe She Has Brain Damage. You Know, I Don’t Recall The Republicans Being This Concerned With Mental Fitness During The Years When Reagan Was Talking To House Plants In The White House.

When I Do Stand-up Around The Country, I Often See People Walk Out. This Is A Show That They've Purposely Gone To, Where My Name Is On The Ticket, And It Cost Them $75 Or Something. So, You Think, Wow, That Means That They Either Didn't Know Very Much About Me When They Bought Their Tickets Or They're That Offended By What I've Said. I've Been Doing This A Long Time. Anybody Who Comes To One Of My Shows Must Sort Of Have An Idea Of Where I'm Coming From.

Russia Has Banned All Adoptions To Americans. So, If You Were Hoping To Get A Little White Kid With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, You're Going To Have To Wait Until Lindsay Lohan Reproduces.