There's A Phrase We Live By In

New Rule: Tulips Aren't Flowers. They're Some Kind Of Gay Onion.

Clinton Left The White House With All The Class Of An Xfl Halftime Show.

There Are Only Three Ways A Congressman Goes Out: They Die In Office, They Cash In As A Lobbyist, Or They Mistakenly Tweet A Picture Of Their D*ck.

Nowas You All Know, This Week, Pope Benedict Told Vatican Radio—you Know, Vatican Radio, Playing The Hits From The 8th Century, 9th Century And Today—benedict Told Them He Was Going To Resign Because The Church Needs A Fresh, Young Face, Somewhere Other Than A Priest's Lap.

When Sex Is Good Theres Nothing Better, When Its Bad Its Not Bad.