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Every Time We Help An Animal, We Are Healing Ourselves, Over And Over.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

To Listen To Your Own Silence Is The Key To Comedy.

Ever Notice That Soup For One Is Eight Aisles Away From Party Mix?