A Man Says To His Mate: "my

A Man Walks Into A Pet Shop And Says: "give Me A Wasp." The Shopkeeper Replies: "we Don't Sell Wasps." He Says: "there's One In The Window."

I Have A Pacemaker In, But It Doesn't Work Very Well, Because Every Time I Fart The Garage Door Opens.

Have You Heard About The Irishman Who Reversed Into A Car Boot Sale And Sold The Engine?

My Wife Went Into The Butchers And Said: "you've A Sheep's Head In Your Window." The Butcher Said: "that's A Mirror."

I Just Want To Apologise For Being Late. I Was Flying Back From Spain And The Air Hostess Said: "we Are Two Hours Late Mr Carson." When I Asked Why, She Said: "the Pilot Has Heard A Funny Noise In The Engine That He Doesn't Like, So We Are Waiting On Another Pilot Who Can't Hear It."