A Hot Dog At The Game Beats

I Hate Funerals. They Aren't For The Guy Who's Dead. They're For The Guys Who Are Left Alive And Enjoy Mourning.

I Gave Up Drinking Once -- It Was The Worst Afternoon Of My Entire Life.

I Was Born When You Kissed Me. I Died When You Left Me. I Lived A Few Weeks While You Loved Me.

I Can't Say I Ever Loved My Mother; I Admired Her.

That's Baseball, And It's My Game. Y' Know, You Take Your Worries To The Game, And You Leave 'em There. You Yell Like Crazy For Your Guys. It's Good For Your Lungs, Gives You A Lift, And Nobody Calls The Cops. Pretty Girls, Lots Of 'em.