A Chef Who Doesn't Wash His Hands

Would Somebody Please Explain To Me Those Signs That Say, "no Animals Allowed Except For Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who Is That Sign For? Is It For The Dog, Or The Blind Person?

What's With This Weird Hotel Custom Of Leaving A Piece Of Chocolate On The Pillow? I Awoke Thinking My Brain Had Hemorrhaged Some Sort Of Fecal Matter.

That's The True Spirit Of Christmas; People Being Helped By People Other Than Me.

But I Don't Want To Be A Pirate!

I Prefer The Old Theaters Because The Audience Is... Trapped.