Zoroaster Said, When In Doubt Abstain; But

If You Do Not Know How To Lie, Cheat, And Steal, Turn Your Attention To Politics And Learn.

Be Kind To Your Mother-in-law, But Pay For Her Board At Some Good Hotel.

It Iz Comparitively Eazy Tew Repent Ov The Sins That We Hav Committed, But Tew Repent Ov Thoze Which We Intend To Commit, Is Asking Tew Mutch Ov Enny Man, Now Days.

It Is A Statistical Fact That The Wicked Work Harder To Reach Hell Than The Righteous Do To Enter Heaven

In The Whole History Of The World There Is But One Thing That Money Cannot Buy...to Wit--the Wag Of A Dog's Tail.