You'll Never Catch A Nudist With His

I Vote Democrat Because I'm Way Too Irresponsible To Own A Gun, And I Know That My Local Police Are All I Need To Protect Me From Murderers And Thieves. I Am Also Thankful That We Have A 911 Service That Gets Police To Your Home In Order To Identify Your Body After A Home Invasion.

Someone Did A Study Of The Three Most-often-heard Phrases In New York City. One Is "hey Taxi." Two Is "what Train Do I Take To Get To Bloomingdales?" And Three Is "don't Worry, It's Only A Flesh Wound.

People Are Kind Of Upset With British Petroleum Ceo Tony Hayward. Over The Weekend, He Was Out On His Yacht. And When President Obama Found Out That Tony Hayward Was On His Yacht, He Was So Angry, He Missed A Putt.

The Big Debate Right Now Is If Saddam Is Alive Or Dead. He's Dead, Then He's Alive, Then Dead, Then Alive. It's Just Confusing. Today They Showed Videotape, And Saddam Was Speaking At His Own Funeral.

Political Pundits Are Saying President George W. Bush Has Made Gains In Two Key States: Dazed And Confused.