You Write Things That Are Of Interest

It's Not Good For Comedy To Be Like, 'thanks For Liking Me'. Being Popular Is Poison.

I Have To Stop Crying When I Watch "the View". It's Not Because Of The Topics At Hand, I Just Feel Sorry For That Couch.

My Forte Is Awkwardness.

I'm Not Versed Enough In Constitutional Law To Run For Office. I'd Have To Go Back To School Or Something.

I'm Proud Of The Hangover, But To Be In Movies Like This, Which Are Really The Only Places I Can Get Work, It's Really Quite The Opposite Of What I Am. I Like Sensitive Art-house Movies. I'm Not Even Much Of A Partier. I Mean, I'll Drink Myself Into Oblivion Alone In My Car.