You Write Things That Are Of Interest

I Watch A Happy Person Doing Stand-up, And I Go, "what The Hell Is This? This Person's Happy!" You Need Internal Conflict. You Need The Guy To Be Out Of Step With Society. It's A Tool For Comedy.

I Think If You Come Out To California Trying To Be An Actor, It's Pretty Hard. There's Desperation. A Lot Of People Are Desperate, And A Lot Of People Are Clueless, Including Me. It's Hard To Try To Figure It Out. I've Never Told You, But I Have Head Shots That If You Saw Them... They're So Terrible! It's So Embarrassing.

My Father Used To Beat Me With His Belt...while It Was Still On Him.

I'm Terrible About People Wanting To Take Pictures With Me. I'm A Giant Baby About It. They Treat You Like A Cartoon. There's Nothing You Can Do Except Make Light Of It.

It's Not Good For Comedy To Be Like, 'thanks For Liking Me'. Being Popular Is Poison.