You Think You're So Cool Just Because

I'm The Person Who Says Every Single Thing She Thinks, Sometimes To Others' Amusement, And Almost Always To My Detriment.

I Still Believe In The Holy Trinity, Except Now It's Target, Trader Joe's, And Ikea.

I Tried, It Was Hard, I Quit, The End. Story Of My Life.

Really? If I Could Hate My Trainer? That Would Be Ideal. I'd Prefer To Despise This Person With The Fire Of Ten Thousand Suns. So When I Walk - Nay, Crawl - Out Of Here At The End Of My Workouts, I Want To Lull Myself To Sleep By Picturing My Very Talented And Inspirational Trainer Getting Hit By A Bus. A Bus That I Am Driving.

I'm Very Detail Oriented. I Think That's Why People Enjoy My Memoirs - Because I Tend To Remember Everything.