You Show Me A Tropical Fruit And

I Noticed That All The Prayers I Used To Offer To God, And All The Prayers I Now Offer To Joe Pesci, Are Being Answered At About The Same 50% Rate. Half The Time I Get What I Want, Half The Time I Don't... Same As The Four-leaf Clover And The Horseshoe...same As The Voodoo Lady Who Tells You Your Fortune By Squeezing The Goat's Testicles, It's All The Same: 50-50. So Just Pick Your Superstition, Sit Back, Make A Wish, And Enjoy Yourself.

May The Forces Of Evil Become Confused On The Way To Your House.

If God Didn't Want You To Masturbate, He Would Have Given You Short Arms.

Most People Are Not Particularly Good At Anything.

I Never Eat Sushi. I Have Trouble Eating Things That Are Merely Unconscious.