You Never Realize How Short A Month

The Trouble With Life Is That There Are So Many Beautiful Women And So Little Time.

You Never Realize How Short A Month Is Until You Pay Alimony.

Happiness Often Sneaks In Through A Door You Didn't Know You Left Open.

Mr. [john] Barrymore's Smile Was The Smile Of An Actor Who Hates Actors, And Who Knows That He Is Going To Kill Two Or Three Before The Play Is Over. I Am Not An Actor-killer, But I Like My Hamlets To Dislike Actors, If You Know What I Mean, And I Think You Don't.

If It Isn't The Sheriff, It's The Finance Company; I've Got More Attachments On Me Than A Vacuum Cleaner.