You Never Realize How Short A Month

Happiness Often Sneaks In Through A Door You Didn't Know You Left Open.

You Never Realize How Short A Month Is Until You Pay Alimony.

My Only Regret In The Theater Is That I Could Never Sit Out Front And Watch Me.

A Man Must Pay The Fiddler. In My Case It So Happened That A Whole Symphony Orchestra Often Had To Be Subsidized.

Mr. [john] Barrymore's Smile Was The Smile Of An Actor Who Hates Actors, And Who Knows That He Is Going To Kill Two Or Three Before The Play Is Over. I Am Not An Actor-killer, But I Like My Hamlets To Dislike Actors, If You Know What I Mean, And I Think You Don't.