You Never Know What People Will Choose

I Just Split Up With My Girlfriend, But Like The Japanese Say, “they’ll Be Another One Floating By Any Minute Now.”

I Don't Know If I Change My Act From Century To Century. Sometimes I'm Onstage Doing Imitations And References To People Who Have Been Dead For 50 Years.

What Do Japanese Jews Love To Eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

If I Could Cause World Peace By Taking Someone Out To Lunch, I'd Go, 'well, War Isn't That Terrible.'

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'