You Might Be A Redneck If You

People Are Like, Hey, Jeff, Lemme Tell You... I'm Like, Hold On, Let Me Get A Pen And A Piece Of Paper.

If You Think The Last Four Words To The National Anthem Are " Gentleman, Start Your Engines", You Might Be A Redneck.

Sacrificing Myself To Kill Hilary Clinton Was The Best Thing I Could Possibly Do For Humanity

Did You Know Babies Are Nauseated By The Smell Of A Clean Shirt? You Put On Something From The Cleaners, They're Gonna Spit Up Just Like That. My Wardrobe Looks Like We Have Condors Living In Our Yard.

As A Comic, You Learn To Use Your Voice Because You Don't Have The Benefit Of Visual Things.