You Live By The Cake, You Die

Life Is Measured By How You Lived It, Not By The Years.

When You're A Comedian, The Holy Grail Is An Hour Long Hbo Special.

I'll Walk Up To A Woman, I'll Say The First Thing That Comes To Mind: 'hey, You Hungry?'

When I First Got To St. Louis, I Saw The Arch And I Said, 'i Want To Go To That Mcdonalds.

And I Don't Want You Thinking That My Girlfriend Is A Bad Person. She Is An Amazing Woman, The Fact That I Only Have Seven Stories About Her In Eight Years, Says A Lot. You Know, Don't Get Me Wrong, Five Of Them Happened This Year, But That's Still Way Below The Bar, You Know What I Am Saying.