You Know You're Getting Old When Work

The Thing Is, I'm Happiest When I'm On Stage.

Your Proudest Moment Is To Watch Your Egg Not Just Function, But To Achieve On Her Own.

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny.

Two Is Company; Three Is Fifty Bucks.

What Could Be Nicer Than To Have Three Horrible Children Behind You In An Airplane, And The Next Set, You Go Onstage And You Talk About How Much You Despise The Children And What You Would Like To Do To Them On An Airplane? That's The Only Time I Would Gladly Take A Terrorist On. It'd Be Worth It To Get Rid Of These Children.