You Know You're Getting Fat When Your

I Wish I Could Sit Back And Say, 'oh, I'm Gonna Wait For A Merchant-ivory Film To Come My Way. Or Ivory-merchant. Whatever It's Called. But You Just Take What's Given And Then, Hopefully, Down The Road You Can Be More Choosy And Only Do, Say, Wayans Brothers Movies. That's My Goal: To Be More Merchant-ivory-wayans.

I Call My Balls The Bush Twins.

I Know My Face Is Turning Red. I Don't Want You To Interpret It As Being Embarrassed. It's Rage. The Color Of My Face Is Rage.

But Comedy Is Like Music, It Appeals To Some People. Some People Like Creed, Those People Are Usually Pretty Stupid. But They Probably Also Like Carrot Top. I Would Say That They're Part Of The Same Ilk.

There Was A Long Time Where I Was An "artist" In Quotes, Who Had No Money. But I Guess Back Then I Also Never Had A Girlfriend.