You Know You're Getting Fat When Your

I Dream Of Moving To India, Or Pakistan, And Becoming A Cabdriver.

I'm Not Versed Enough In Constitutional Law To Run For Office. I'd Have To Go Back To School Or Something.

I Want To Do Another Reality Show. It's Based On The Mole. It's About Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It's Called "god, I Hope That's A Mole."

I Was Just Thinking How Unfortunate It'd Be To Be A Fat Girl Named Candy.

I'd Like To Do A Reality Show With Four White People...who Are Dropped Off In A Really Bad Black Neighborhood. And The Show Would Be Called...cracker Hunt.