I Dream Of Moving To India, Or

I Love Playing A Curmudgeon. I Just Love Playing A Sour Guy.

I've Never Been In Love... But I Imagine It's Similar To The Feeling You Get When You See Your Waiter Arriving With Your Food

I Would Have Changed My Last Name If Being Famous Were My Goal.

I Used To Be Really Cute. I Could Send You Earlier Photos Where I'm Stunning. But I've Gained About Twenty Pounds Over The Past Two Years, And The More Weight I've Put On, The More Success I've Had. If You Drew A Diagram Of Weight Gain And Me Getting More Work, A Mathematician Would Draw Some Conclusions From That.

Don't Boo People! Don't Boo! Be More Specific! Like, 'why Are You Doing That?! I Hate That! I Hate It!'