You Know It's Love When You Want

I Don't Plan To Grow Old Gracefully. I Plan To Have Face-lifts Until My Ears Meet.

Men Do Not Like To Admit To Even Momentary Imperfection. My Husband Forgot The Code To Turn Off The Alarm. When The Police Came, He Wouldn't Admit He'd Forgotten The Code... He Turned Himself In.

The Word 'aerobics' Came About When The Gym Instructors Got Together And Said: If We're Going To Charge $10 An Hour, We Can't Call It Jumping Up And Down.

My Husband Gave Me A Necklace. It's Fake. I Requested Fake. Maybe I'm Paranoid, But In This Day And Age, I Don't Want Something Around My Neck That's Worth More Than My Head.

It Takes Six Months To Get Into Shape And Two Weeks To Get Out Of Shape. Once You Know This You Can Stop Being Angry About Other Things In Life And Only Be Angry About This.