You Know, In Politics When You Come

I'm Thankful For The Three Ounce Ziploc Bag, So That I Have Somewhere To Put My Savings.

My Problem, I Try To Teach My Kids To Eat Healthy Food. But You Get A Cantaloupe, And You Don't Know When It's Going To Come Of Age. You Have No Idea - That Period Between When It's Like, Hard As A Rock To When It's Smushy Inside, Is About Ten Minutes.

I Get In Fewer Arguments When I'm Alone.

I Confess That When I First Read That Smog Is Particularly Hazardous To Children, Senior Citizens, And Physically Active People, For A Brief Moment I Thought, “i’m In The Clear For At Least 10 More Years.”

I've Decided That Perhaps I'm Bulimic And Just Keep Forgetting To Purge.