You Gotta Keep The Funny Intact.

Everybody In My Family Had A Real Sick, Twisted Sense Of Humor. Most Of The Jokes We Make In Our House, We Would Just Never Even Dream Of Making Anywhere Else. Just Sick, Horrible Stuff. That Wasn't Anything New To College.

The Average Person Has Eight Different Jobs Over The Course Of Their Lifetime. You Get A Little Antsy Doing The Same Thing.

I Spent My Entire Childhood In The Same Town, In Kent. I Went To Grade School There. There Was A Boarding School That My Mother Taught At, Called - Appropriately Enough - Kent School, That I Went To. Yeah, Pretty Much My Entire Childhood Was Spent In That Town.

Whoever Invented Spray Cheese Had To Have Been A Harvard Guy.

Chris Elliott Could Read The Phonebook And He's Funny.