You Get Really Disillusioned, Because You Thought

Statistics Indicate That The Average American Is A Guy Named Brian Who Lives In Ohio.

I Walk Around And Think About Things. When I Come Across A Thought That Makes Me Laugh, I Write It Down. Then, At Night, I Say The Thought To People Through A Microphone. I Don't Think About Politics Or Pop Culture Very Much, So Those Thoughts Don't Often Make It To The Microphone.

When I Trip, I Feel Like That's The World Saying Come Here For A Second. It Just Pulls Me Closer For A Second, Yeah What Do You Want? I Just Want To Remind You That You're Uncoordinated. I'm Aware Of That, Thank You... Can I Go Now? Yeah, You Can Go, But Never Ever Try To Outrun Me. Ok, World, See You Later. Yeah, I'll See You In About 50 Years.

When People Show Me Pictures Of Their Kids, It's Okay. But When I Give Them A Picture Of Me, To Show To Their Kids, I'm Weird. What Kind Of One Way Street Is That?

When They Were Naming The Animals, Somebody Got Lazy: Anteater? What's It Doing? It's Eating Ants. Done!