You Ever Make Fun Of Someone So

I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes. I Like Writing A Joke, And I Like When A Joke Works, And I Like Other Comics Who Tell Jokes.

I'm Sorry, Was That Homophobic? No--i Think It Was, 'cause I Hear That A Lot. Dave, What?, You're Talking About Being Gay. You Probably Secretly Are Gay. And I'm Like Listen Voice In My Head, I'm Not! How Do You Know You Wouldn't Like It? How Do You Know You Wouldn't Like It? I Know I Wouldn't Like It, Other Scarier Voice In My Head! 'cause One Time While Making A Sandwich, A Cucumber Went Up My Ass. Three Times.

Friends Are Important, Dontcha Think? Hmmm? I Think So. The Way I See It, You Got Friends, And You Got Your Best Friend, Big Difference. To Me, A Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move. A Best Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move A Body. That's How I Look At It.

Sometimes You Need A Cigarette. Like After You Have Sex With A Beautiful Woman Or A Confused Young Man.

Don't Get Me Wrong, I Like To Cuddle. But There Is Such A Fine Line Between Cuddling And Holding Someone Down So That They Can't Get Away.