You Can't Be Everything To Everyone

I Can't Even Talk The Way These People Talk. 'why You Ain't?' 'where You Is?' Everybody Knows It's Important To Speak English Except These Knuckleheads. You Can't Be A Doctor With That Kind Of Crap Coming Out Of Your Mouth.

That's Why Ears Have Cartilage, To Keep Them From Flapping.

When I Was A Child, I Was Living In The Housing Projects Of Philadelphia. I Didn't Even Have A Christmas Tree.

Is The Glass Half Full, Or Half Empty? It Depends On Whether You're Pouring, Or Drinking.

The Beautiful Thing About Older People Is Their Ability To Cut The Fat Off Of Conversation. When They Talk, They Don't Go On Forever And Ever. They Say What They Have To Say, And That's It. That Was My Grand Dad. Some Of The Things He Said Stunned Me, But His Words Were Logical. I'll Never Forget Them.