You Can't Be Everything To Everyone

Sex Education May Be A Good Idea In The Schools, But I Don't Believe The Kids Should Be Given Homework.

Fatherhood Is Pretending The Present You Love Most Is Soap-on-a-rope.

You Are A Genius!... And I Am A Genius Because I Married You.

A Sail Boat That Sails Backwards Can Never See The Sun Rise.

Fatherhood Is Telling Your Daughter That Michael Jackson Loves All His Fans, But Has Special Feelings For The Ones Who Eat Broccoli.