You Can't Be Bad Ass In A

I Try Not To Get Political, I Don't Want To Get Religious, I Don't Want To Get Controversial, I Just Want To Have A Show That Relates To Everybody.

I Eat A Lot Of Junk Food, Because That's What's Usually Available At 1:00am When I'm All Done Working.

I'm Not On A Diet. And It's Funny Cause People Go 'well, Then Why Do You Drink Diet Soda?' So I Can Eat Regular Cake.

I Don't Have To Worry About Writing Jokes. I Just Tell Stories About Things That Have Happened To Me. As Long As I'm Alive And I'm Living And I'm Experiencing Different Things Every Day, The Show Will Always Change.

Why Do People Measure Life By The Years Instead Of How Good The Years Were?