You Cannot Win A War On Terrorism.

There's Quite An Overlap Between Musicians - Especially Drummers - Who Have An Affection And A Proclivity Towards Comedy And Comedians Who Fantasize About Being In A Band. And A Lot Of Comics Play Instruments.

I'm Finally Going To Be Able To Finally Criticize [hillary Clinton] Without Being Accused Of Being A Sexist - That Idea. I'm Not A Fan, I Don't Like Her, But You Can't Say Anything Without Being Accused Of Being A Sexist Pig, Which Is Unfair.

I Know Dave [attel] And We're Friendly, And I Have Nothing But Respect For Him.

Back When The Bible Was Written, Then Edited, Then Rewritten, Then Rewritten, Then Re-edited, Then Translated From Dead Languages, Then Re-translated, Then Edited, Then Rewritten, Then Given To Kings For Them To Take Their Favorite Parts, Then Rewritten, Then Re-rewritten, Then Translated Again, Then Given To The Pope For Him To Approve, Then Rewritten, Then Edited Again, The Re-re-re-re-rewritten Again...all Based On Stories That Were Told Orally 30 To 90 Years After They Happened.. To People Who Didnt Know How To Write... So...

I Was Heavily Influenced By Andy Kaufman And Steven Wright.