You Can Raise Welts Like Nobody Else,

Be It Ever So Decadent, There's No Place Like Home.

The People Who Came To Hear Me Perform Or To Buy My Records Were Not The Type Who Would Be Offended [by The Song 'the Vatican Rag']. But I Gather That There Were Other People Who Were Offended.

Don't Solicit For Your Sister, It's Not Nice. Unless You Get A Good Percentage Of Her Price.

On Christmas Day You Can't Get Sore, Your Fellow Man You Must Adore. There's Time To Cheat Him All The More The Other Three Hundred And Sixty-four

Always Predict The Worst, And You'll Be Hailed As A Prophet.