You Can Only Be As Good As

Sex: The Thing That Takes Up The Least Amount Of Time And Causes The Most Amount Of Trouble.

My Only Regret In The Theater Is That I Could Never Sit Out Front And Watch Me.

I Would Like To Find A Stew That Will Give Me Heartburn Immediately, Instead Of At Three O Clock In The Morning.

I Am Thinking Of Taking A Fifth Wife. Why Not? Solomon Had A Thousand Wives And He Is A Synonym For Wisdom.

My Wife Was Too Beautiful For Words, But Not For Arguments.