You Bet I'm Shy. I'm A Shyster

No, Groucho Is Not My Real Name. I Am Breaking It In For A Friend. I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception. I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It. I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

I Did Toy With The Idea Of Doing A Cook-book . . . The Recipes Were To Be The Routine Ones: How To Make Dry Toast, Instant Coffee, Hearts Of Lettuce And Brownies. But As An Added Attraction, At No Extra Charge, My Idea Was To Put A Fried Egg On The Cover. I Think A Lot Of People Who Hate Literature But Love Fried Eggs Would Buy It If The Price Was Right.

I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book.

The First Thing Which I Can Record Concerning Myself Is, That I Was Born. These Are Wonderful Words. This Life, To Which Neither Time Nor Eternity Can Bring Diminution - This Everlasting Living Soul, Began. My Mind Loses Itself In These Depths.

I Was Married By A Judge. I Should Have Asked For A Jury.