Yesterday Jerry Springer Bowed Out Of The

It's Not A Big Part, ... I Wheel In An Ultrasound Machine And Say To Taylor's Gynecologist, 'if You Have A Problem With It, Just Give It A Light Tap On The Side.' Then They Hand Me A Urine Sample, And I Put It Up To The Light And Say 'hmm, Looks Pretty Healthy, But I'll Check.'

Declassified Papers Report That John Kennedy Was Taking Eight Different Medications A Day. He Was So Wasted, His Secret Service Code Name Was Ted Kennedy.

I Don't Do Well Around The Angry, Bitter And Emotionally Fragile Among Us, Which May Eliminate 70% Of The Population.

Our Top Story, In 'threat Matrix Reloaded' News ... Attorney General John Ashcroft And Fbi Director Robert Muller Held A Press Conference Today To Announce That Al Qaeda Is Planning Attacks Somewhere Inside The United States At Sometime In The Future. So Go About Your Normal Lives, But With A Vague Sense Of Foreboding.

Here In California, One Candidate For Governor Is A 100-year-old Woman. She's Going Door-to-door And Asking One Simple Question - 'do I Live Here?'