Yesterday, I Masturbated For 45 Minutes... With

You're Not Supposed To Be Accepting Trophies. You're Supposed To Be In The Back Being Mad That People Are Getting Trophies.

I'm Not Cynical When It Comes To Things That Are Important. I'm Cynical About Pop Culture And All That Horseshit.

Actually, I Used To Be A Busboy In A Strip Joint In New York And So I Hate Strip Joints. I'm Not That Kind Of Person.

I've Never Been In Love... But I Imagine It's Similar To The Feeling You Get When You See Your Waiter Arriving With Your Food

I've Been Happily Dedicated To The Same Woman For A Number Of Years. I Never Even Look At Other Women.