Women Speak Because They Wish To Speak,

Marrying A Man Is Like Buying Something You've Been Admiring For A Long Time In A Shop Window. You May Love It When You Get It Home, But It Doesn't Always Go With Everything Else In The House.

I Once Truly Believed That If I Had To Stand In Line For Twenty Minutes To Have A Package Gift-wrapped It Actually Gave The Recipient More Pleasure.

A Lawyer Is Never Entirely Comfortable With A Friendly Divorce, Anymore Than A Good Mortician Wants To Finish His Job And Then Have The Patient Sit Up On The Table.

Women Speak Because They Wish To Speak, Whereas A Man Speaks Only When Driven To Speak By Something Outside Himself Like, For Instance, He Can't Find Any Clean Socks.

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.