Why Should I Waste My Good Time

My Job Is To Go Out And Entertain The Most People Possible. The Job Is To Make People Laugh. I Don't Have A Mission. I Don't Have A Torch To Burn.

Good Taste Is The Enemy Of Comedy.

I Don't Think In Terms Of Results At All. I Think: What Next Insanity Can I Shock The World With?

Every Human Being Has Hundreds Of Separate People Living Under His Skin. The Talent Of A Writer Is His Ability To Give Them Their Separate Names, Identities, Personalities And Have Them Relate To Other Characters Living With Him.

The More Serious The Situation, The Funnier The Comedy Can Be. The Greatest Comedy Plays Against The Greatest Tragedy. Comedy Is A Red Rubber Ball And If You Throw It Against A Soft, Funny Wall, It Will Not Come Back. But If You Throw It Against The Hard Wall Of Ultimate Reality, It Will Bounce Back And Be Very Lively. Very, Very Few People Understand This.