Nothing Is Free. You Got To Pay

Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

When I Was A Little Kid At Home, I Thought The Whole World Was Jewish. For Years I Thought Roosevelt Was Jewish. I Loved Him. I Thought Of Him As My Father. I'm Always Stunned When I Find Out That People Like Roosevelt And Tolstoy Weren't Jewish. How Could I Love Them So Much?

Anybody Can Direct, But There Are Only Eleven Good Writers.

Critics Can't Even Make Music By Rubbing Their Back Legs Together.

My Mother Is Very Short - Four-eleven. She Could Walk Under Tables And Never Hit Her Head.